Just one great joke to commemorate our Turkish friends who initiated the project but later dropped.
A Bus of Politicians
There happened a serious crash of a bus full of politicians on a field. The farmer comes and starts burying the bodies. A time after a policeman comes and asks the farmer:
“Were all of them dead?“
and the farmer replies:
“Some said no, but you know politicians!“
“Were all of them dead?“
and the farmer replies:
“Some said no, but you know politicians!“
Clinton, Yeltsin and Pawlak meet.
The first says:
- One of my Ministers is a drug addict, but I didn't know that! What should I do?
Yeltsin says:
-It’s not a problem. One of my ministers is in the mafia. I also did not know that.
Pawlak adds:
-Oh dear, that's nothing. One of my ministers is a professional politician and I have no idea who it is.
A similar joke appears in the Czech section
The first says:
- One of my Ministers is a drug addict, but I didn't know that! What should I do?
Yeltsin says:
-It’s not a problem. One of my ministers is in the mafia. I also did not know that.
Pawlak adds:
-Oh dear, that's nothing. One of my ministers is a professional politician and I have no idea who it is.
A similar joke appears in the Czech section
CAR ALARM
An old man is parking his old car in front of the Parliament.
A security man comes and says:
- Get out of here. It’s a place where politicians walk!
- It’s not a problem, I have a car alarm.
A security man comes and says:
- Get out of here. It’s a place where politicians walk!
- It’s not a problem, I have a car alarm.
A JOURNALIST AND A POLITICIAN
A journalist comes to the famous politician’s house. His son opens the door. The journalist asks:
- Is your father in PSL, SLD or AWS? (famous Polish political parties)
- No, he is in WC now.
- Is your father in PSL, SLD or AWS? (famous Polish political parties)
- No, he is in WC now.
Do We Come from Monkeys?
Monkeys also denied that the minister of education cames from them ...
Two retired pensioners are talking about presidential elections in Poland 1995:
- Why did you vote for Wałęsa and not for Kwaśniewski?
- Because I hoped that in my old age I will get the promised 200 milions. And why did you vote for Kwaśniewski?
- Because I thought that in my old age I finally get an apartment and move out with wife from my mother in law.
- Why did you vote for Wałęsa and not for Kwaśniewski?
- Because I hoped that in my old age I will get the promised 200 milions. And why did you vote for Kwaśniewski?
- Because I thought that in my old age I finally get an apartment and move out with wife from my mother in law.
Two Politicians discuss privately the situation in the country:
- I do not understand the current economic situation.
- I'll explain it to you.
- I can explain it either, but I do not understand!
- I do not understand the current economic situation.
- I'll explain it to you.
- I can explain it either, but I do not understand!
A Politician is talking with his child:
- We will reduce taxes by half, will stick /paste the budget hole ...
And what a story would you like I tell you tomorrow?
- We will reduce taxes by half, will stick /paste the budget hole ...
And what a story would you like I tell you tomorrow?
Where to get and not to steal - a popular Czech saying.
Politicians have a discussion:
"Where to get (money) and not to steal?"
"No, the roght question is: "Where to get so that we could steal more."
"Where to get (money) and not to steal?"
"No, the roght question is: "Where to get so that we could steal more."
Politicians at Schools and in Prison
Two politicians are being showed round a school and one of them says: „ We won’t finance this school any more. They have enough.“ In several other schools that day he says the same. Then in the end of the inspection day they visit a prison and he promises there a great financial grant. And the other politician of the two asks him: „Why do you promise such subvention here and not in any school?
„Well, dear! We all have already been at schools“.
„Well, dear! We all have already been at schools“.
_A Soviet Union Quiz
_Do you like Soviet Union?
Answer YES - 2 points.
Answer NO - 2 years. (in prison)
Answer YES - 2 points.
Answer NO - 2 years. (in prison)
_Ali Baba the President
_I do want Ali Baba as the president!
Why?!
Hhe has only 40 thieves! (remember the old Arabian fairy tale - Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves)
Why?!
Hhe has only 40 thieves! (remember the old Arabian fairy tale - Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves)
_A Lying Politician?
_How can I recognize a politician lying?
He moves his lips!
He moves his lips!
_Who did you vote?
_Two men are having a discussion:
Who did you vote?
The Communists!
That’s clear, you fool. But which party from?
(many of the Czech politicians used to be in the Communist Party or at least in the Union of Socialist Youth)
Who did you vote?
The Communists!
That’s clear, you fool. But which party from?
(many of the Czech politicians used to be in the Communist Party or at least in the Union of Socialist Youth)
_The Difference between Politicians and Telephone
Boxes
_What is the difference between politicians and a telephone box?
You put coins into the telephone box, and you can speak.
But you put much of your taxes into politicians, and you can shut up!
You put coins into the telephone box, and you can speak.
But you put much of your taxes into politicians, and you can shut up!
_The Presidents and 30 People Around
_George Bush, Francois Mitterand and Vaclav Havel (former American, French and Czech presidents) had a discussion.
Bush said:
“I have 30 guardsmen, and one of them wants to kill me, but I do not know who!
Mitterand:
I have 30 mistresses, and one of them has AIDS, but I do not know who!
Havel:
I have 30 advisors, and one of them is clever, but I do not know who!
A similar joke appears in the Polish section
Bush said:
“I have 30 guardsmen, and one of them wants to kill me, but I do not know who!
Mitterand:
I have 30 mistresses, and one of them has AIDS, but I do not know who!
Havel:
I have 30 advisors, and one of them is clever, but I do not know who!
A similar joke appears in the Polish section
_How Do the Americans Know?
_A journalis interviews the president:
Mr. President! How can you prove that the Iraqis had weapons of mass destruction?
Easily! We have stored the buying receipts.
Mr. President! How can you prove that the Iraqis had weapons of mass destruction?
Easily! We have stored the buying receipts.
_Money for a Flat
_The president asks the prime minister:
Where did you get so much money for your new flat?
A man gave me five millions into my pocket.
Aren’t you embarassed to get corrupted for five millions?
Oh, yes, I am! But he didn’t have more!
Where did you get so much money for your new flat?
A man gave me five millions into my pocket.
Aren’t you embarassed to get corrupted for five millions?
Oh, yes, I am! But he didn’t have more!
_A Young Chancellor
_A Czech politician says to a young man:
That’s great to become a chancellor in your age, isn’t it?
The young man gets embarassed and replies:
I thaught that my father had already thanked you!
That’s great to become a chancellor in your age, isn’t it?
The young man gets embarassed and replies:
I thaught that my father had already thanked you!
Berlusconi dies and is stuck in hell for his bad behaviour during his earthly life. He goes to talk with devil and suggests: " Hey guy why don't we install some disco lights, music , invite some girls?? the devil answers back: " yeah you are Berlusconi so you can take care about this project." The following day, since berlusconi achieved very good results in his project , the devil sends him to the Purgatory and here he talks to Giuda and suggests him the same idea. In two days time Berlusconi is in heaven. There he asks St. Peter if he can talk personally to God. he takes an appointment and St. Peter leads him to God's office. After 5 or 6 hours Berlusconi and God are still in the office with the doors locked. St. Peter knocks and enters, there he sees disco lights, girls, music and God with his arm on Berlusconi's shoulder telling him: " Hey Silvio! are you sure I can be the vice president???!!"