Why did the boy bury his flashlight?
Because the batteries were dead.
Because the batteries were dead.
Johny is running into the classroom. A teacher asks him:
- Johny, what has happened?
- Two men were chasing me.
- Are you in one piece?
- Yes, but they stole my Polish composition.
- Johny, what has happened?
- Two men were chasing me.
- Are you in one piece?
- Yes, but they stole my Polish composition.
A wolf is running through a forest with foam on his muzzle.
A fox meets him and asks:
- Why are you so mad?
- Nothing. I wanted to shave.
A fox meets him and asks:
- Why are you so mad?
- Nothing. I wanted to shave.
Johny goes to the pharmacy.
- Can I have a pain killer?
- What hurts you ,John?
- Nothing. It will hurt when my dad gets back from parents' evenings.
- Can I have a pain killer?
- What hurts you ,John?
- Nothing. It will hurt when my dad gets back from parents' evenings.
Two doctors sit in a cell. One of them say:
- I could become a meteorologist and they would forgive me 90% of my mistakes...
- I could become a meteorologist and they would forgive me 90% of my mistakes...
Johny goes to his dad and asks him:
- Dad, what’s alcoholism?
Dad doesn’t know what to answer and says:
- Son, do you see these two trees?
- Yes.
- An alcoholic would see four trees.
- But dad there is only one tree.
- Dad, what’s alcoholism?
Dad doesn’t know what to answer and says:
- Son, do you see these two trees?
- Yes.
- An alcoholic would see four trees.
- But dad there is only one tree.
A little boy asks a driver :
- Could you give me a ride, please? I'm late for school.
- But I'm going in the opposite direction, son.
- Even better
- Could you give me a ride, please? I'm late for school.
- But I'm going in the opposite direction, son.
- Even better
Two Inflatable Baloons
Two inflatable balloons are flying over a desert and one of them says:
“Look out a cactussssssss......“
“Can you tell me where it issssss........“
“Look out a cactussssssss......“
“Can you tell me where it issssss........“
Open the Windows
In an ICT room a pupil is opening the windows and the teacher asks him:
"Are you hot? It is pretty cold outside."
"No sir, but you said open the windows!"
"Are you hot? It is pretty cold outside."
"No sir, but you said open the windows!"
How do I Sleep?
“Why are you looking in the mirror with your eyes closed?“
“I want to see how I sleep!“
“I want to see how I sleep!“
St.Peter and a Teacher
St.Peter is relaxing at the heaven gate, when somebody knocks the door.
“What’s going on?“
“How? What’s going on!? Rather, Who’s there?“
“Oh, God, a teacher again!“
“What’s going on?“
“How? What’s going on!? Rather, Who’s there?“
“Oh, God, a teacher again!“
An ICT Expert Repaires a Car
A director, a mechanic and an ICT expert are going by car when suddenly their car breaks out. The director says: “Let’s buy a new one.“
The mechanic says: “No, I will repair it.“
And the ICT expert says: “Let’s get off the car and get into it again. It may go on running again. “
The mechanic says: “No, I will repair it.“
And the ICT expert says: “Let’s get off the car and get into it again. It may go on running again. “
_A Good Mark at School
_(In the Czech classification system 1- means excellent, 2 very good, 3 good, 4 sufficient (at universities – failed), 5- insufficient. Of the behaviour only thee marks are used, 1-excellent, 2-satisfactory (but it is a great shame to get it, 3-unsatisfactory only for outstandingly disobedient pupils or students)
A boy who still gets fives comes home and exults (cries of pleasure)
“Mom, Dad! I got mark two!!!“
“Oh, that’s great, of what?“
“Behaviour.“
A boy who still gets fives comes home and exults (cries of pleasure)
“Mom, Dad! I got mark two!!!“
“Oh, that’s great, of what?“
“Behaviour.“
_Sweating
_A professor asks a student at an exam of health:
“What causes sweating the most?“
And the students replies: “Your questions sir!“
“What causes sweating the most?“
And the students replies: “Your questions sir!“
_What Bird Is It?
_A professor asks a student at an exam of natural science:
“What kind of bird it is?“ And points at a covered bird, of which only legs are visible.
“I don’t know.“ Replies the student.
Well, then, I am sorry, but you are fired. “What is your name?“
And the student rolls up his legs and says: “Well, you can guess!“
“What kind of bird it is?“ And points at a covered bird, of which only legs are visible.
“I don’t know.“ Replies the student.
Well, then, I am sorry, but you are fired. “What is your name?“
And the student rolls up his legs and says: “Well, you can guess!“
_A Professional Writer
_“I am becoming a professional writer.“ A man tells the other one.
“Oh, great. And what have you sold?“ Replies the other.
“Of course a lot of things, TV set, my watch, the car, . . . . . . “
“Oh, great. And what have you sold?“ Replies the other.
“Of course a lot of things, TV set, my watch, the car, . . . . . . “
_A Label for Thieves Behind the Window
_A label behind the window of a car for thieves reads:
“The fuel tank is empty, there is no radio set, and the engine is over-used.“
The next day another label, this time behind the wiper appears and reads:
“That means that the wheels are also useless for you.“
“The fuel tank is empty, there is no radio set, and the engine is over-used.“
The next day another label, this time behind the wiper appears and reads:
“That means that the wheels are also useless for you.“